Every BODY wants what they can’t have…

The ones close to me know that I’m certainly not one to take myself seriously…

Art by Sasa Elebea courtesy of Pinterest

Laughing at myself is truly something that has got me through life. BUT this is serious Lou talking because it’s something that is a current thought, and discussion from girlfriends that I’m aware of and something I've recently explored and discovered.  

My shape?  

Straight waist, smaller boobs than i'd like (my sister was gifted, I got the leftovers) thicker ankles than proportionally expecting, and feet I’ve had so much surgery on… meh….  

I could go on, but I am aware I am smaller in size, and I’m not here to compare anyone against me.

Until recently I’ve spent the last however many years wishing and wanting what I don’t have, and it’s wasted so much of my energy. I see it also so commonly with BFF’s, friends or clients.

I have slowly learnt with time that no matter how much I work on these parts of my body or exercise, these areas actually just become more emphasised. I've learnt that it’s allowed me to accept, dress for it, and love my parts that I actually do love. I feel I have nice kind eyes, I can wear most tops based on the fact that I don’t have much of a cleavage, and I think I have lovely shoulders and like you,  I’m pretty clever in other ways that others won’t ever be that aren’t about my body..…  

How many of you out there reading this truly love and accept yourself, your body and just rock that shit with an unabashed sense self-love. No matter what our thoughts are about ourselves, it’s apparent that unless we truly love and accept, and stop looking outwardly to others for validation, then it will never stop.

I’ve recently been on a bit of a self-journey and discovery over this past while. The last 6 months and even more intensely this past month- 6 weeks or so. I won’t go into details of HOW I learnt to love my body but it was way out of my normal realm.  But along the way discovering how to truly love and accept who I am (I have still have blips, i'm human) which in turn has made me so much stronger in more ways than one. I am incredibly grateful as unbeknownst to you, at times I have suffered shocking and debilitating self-belief and body image stuff since I was a kid.

For me to give the best of me, I had to walk the walk. But with confidence also comes the fear of being seen as a someone who is seen as “loves themselves too much” or “what a dick” which I have let go, because it’s not my problem to worry about what others think of me.        

Art by Sasa Elebea courtesy of Pinterest

So why am I writing this?

I put the call out for some feedback recently and a couple stood out to me that struck a cord…

I want my followers to be inspired by what I do, not wear what I wear, not emulate. I simply just want to give you, the readers, the followers the knowledge and power to look within to how you can make small changes to your daily way you think about getting dressed or going about your daily life.

I thought I would bring up the body shape element in this blog, because it’s not about the size or shape of the body, it’s about learning what your best bits are and just owning that part of you that is unapologetic for just being you.    

Art by Sasa Elebea courtesy of Pinterest

I’m big into dealing with my clients one on one, and getting to know them like a friend, and truly seeing them for who they are. This then allows me to show them what works best for them, and I know I’m doing my job properly when I see the change internally, that shows externally.

I get all shapes and sizes to work with, and a common thing that I come across is women choosing wrong styles, and shapes for their body. Following a style that they think works best based on trends, friends and just following an external element rather than using their intuition of what makes them feel good.

There will always be some form of guideline that you can follow based on a shape, and In my personal opinion when I’m choosing pieces for clients, I will get them to try on things that are more slim-line, bringing out the shape rather than hiding it away.

Quips like, wear skinny jeans, a slight tuck in of a top into a skirt or jeans, as this brings the eye into the smaller part of the body, I hold their hand, I don’t push, but unless my client can accept this part of them that they need to accept and love, then it’s fruitless trying to allow this process to work.

I do recommend finding your style, exploring what it is in any way shape or form. Find style icons who you look to without copying wardrobe verbatim.  Personally I feel I look best in high waisted jeans, pants or skirts as even though I have a straight waist, it is a smaller part of my body. I wear more slim-line clothes because of my overall shape, but stuff it, if I want to wear a sack or baggy anything because I’m having a shit day… so what!  

When I look to other women, I do naturally look at the clothes because that’s always what I’m drawn to, but what I’m really looking at is how they carry themselves, and some of my most memorable fashion “WOW’s” are on a women who just carry this feeling of “I’m here, I’m unapologetic and I love that I feel good” and I don’t look at the shape of the body.

I am very often asked for inspiration, and I can give the inspiration, BUT for you to take it in and start making little adjustments then my advice to you is to listen to yourself, don’t worry about what you THINK people are saying, as I can assure you, they are just envious of how you are carrying and holding your presence.  

So isn’t it time we start just starting with the basics, follow your gut to what you’re drawn to, keep pics of things that inspire you to wear or try.

I hear often, “I could never wear that?” well I’m asking, why?? Is it because you’re worried what others will say, think, do? Worried your friends who wear similar things as a pack will think you’re “breaking away?” I never get dressed with others in mind. I dress for how I feel and never for a second think or worry about others think (unless I have a burning question for an opinion on what shoe to choose). This in turn allows me to feel freer in choosing what I can be creative with to feel good in, not what others think I will look good in.

We can all have very similar pieces in our wardrobes, but it’s how it makes us feel, and how we all individually wear them that gives us our style. It's a humbling feeling when I’m asked into someone’s home to show them how to change up, and switch out these things that serve no purpose other than gather dust, so if you’ve been thinking about how I can help, I’d love to hear from you.

My true gift with my styling process for Women AND Men is my eye for seeing what goes with what.. I can see easily how I can make pieces work on clients, build them a profile based on this, and show you how to get the most out of your existing wardrobe, or add in pieces to take it to the next level because I don’t expect change, I expect evolution.

I’m currently thinking and looking into doing some talks around either Canterbury, South Island.. shit, even the North Island, so if you think this is something you’d be interested in, I’d love to hear what you think?

I’m still not perfect, and my self-love with me and my body can still be loathing at times, but I am proud of how far I’ve come and how I got to where I am now. It’s still a journey that I’m willing to explore.  

X Lou       

Here are my top tips for self-love that I’ve learnt  

1. It’s very hard to start with, but saying thank you when someone says you look great, and actually take it in and own it.  

2. Follow my gut on the things that nourish my mind and body, and if that means eat that cake (I said cake, not piece of cake) or do something I shouldn't be, then i'll allow myself to without the guilt. 

3. Moving my body at least 4-5 times a week no matter if it’s little or big, it’s still something.

4. Make that inner voice in your mind your best friend, NOT your frenemy who wants to spread gossip, because that stuff can be crippling.  

5. You can still eat that bad stuff because people are still going to love you no matter your size. It’s about balance, and for me eating well works for my mind, but I don’t deny myself the giant platter on a Friday night with bubbles… and everything else.  

6. I don’t want to be skinny, I just want to be healthy.  

7. Hanging with my girlfriends for that constant check-in when you need them, or vice versa, because we all have times when we go through things that we can’t do on our own.

8. Accepting my flaws, and truly being alright with them.  

9. Crawl out of the comfort zone. (I have done things lately that I NEVER would’ve done in a million years.)  

10. Hang with the good ones who make you feel good, they’re there for life, family or not. Over time you may notice people take note that they don’t like that you’ve started to like yourself, because it’s natural for others to not like change, and want to keep you down.    

Art by Sasa Elebea courtesy of Pinterest